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:: light a match, for i deserve to burn ::


mother mary
Originally uploaded by hometownzero.
Cue obligatory LJ update:

Let's see. So Thanksgiving was very odd this year, probably because nothing feels right in life at the moment. I just feel all out of place, like I'm just kind of floating through everything. I haven't had time to spend with anyone or doing anything, when I've got so many things that I'd like to be doing.

I did manage to get my English paper done and turned in on time (relatively). I actually checked out books from the library and for the first time in my collegiate career it felt like I was really writing a paper, not just sitting down and spitting out crap.

So now I've got a poetry project for my other English class, and a bunch of logs to do for Psych of Women. I've got two more weeks of work to get through while still maintaining some time for myself, and there are a ton of things I'd like to do, but don't have time for. Oh, and finals.

My possessed microwave just beeped at me for no apparent reason. Oh, and evidently we have a five inch rat lurking around in some crawl space area behind our dishwasher. I'd like to spend some time in the photo lab, but I'm not sure if I'll get to before the semester's up.

I've decided to apply to Sweet Eugene's again, and also to Coffee Station. I desperately want to work at a coffee shop next semester. Speaking of next semester, I need to figure out what independent/directed study I'm going to be taking.

I recently discovered The Beautiful Mistake, and I must say I'm digging their music a lot. That and the awesome versions of Christmas songs that I've been downloading, including "All I Want For Christmas Is You" by My Chemical Romance. In literature, I just finished up reading The Catcher In The Rye by J.D. Salinger, and I loved it. It really resonated with me. This is where I segue into my future plans for reviewing books, movies, and music. I'm planning a major overhaul for my website, including a new layout, and I'd like to add a lot of content. I think it'd be a pretty nifty way to keep track of the things that I read, watch, and listen to, and also if anybody was curious about it, they could look it up. Of course, this is something that's going to have to wait until I have some time over Christmas break.

Well, there you have it. That's pretty much the rundown of what's going on in my crazy life right now. Maybe if you see me around you can either (a) stop me and get me to pause and breathe or (b) cheer me up in some fashion. Having this much stuff to do on my plate is kind of a drag.
  • Current Music
    Bright Eyes - Blue Christmas
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Contemplate


Contemplate
Originally uploaded by hometownzero.
Choir trip was pretty rocking this weekend. Yay for having an awesome host family that spoiled the crap out of us, staying up playing Lucky Bastard, and the Cheesecake Factory. Jarrod, Matt, Adan and I were all in the same house. Pretty crazy.

So I have this laundry list of things to do (including some laundry), I've got this crappy cough going on, and of course, I'm really unsure as of what I'm supposed to do in a lot of life.

So what am I doing, with all this crap that I need to do, and spiritual refocusing that I need to accomplish? Um, I just did a survey, I'm listening to David Spade, and I'm chatting and about to go make some more food. Basically I'm screwing my time away doing nothing. Great.

Random SurveyCollapse )
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:: the thrill ::

New Poem. Let me know what you think.

The Thrill
I was fox-hunting
chasing seeking sleek
swift mysteryious creatures
that eluded me,
when I turned
to find a lame one.
I shot her dead.

EDIT: Updated. More comments please. This could be vitally important.
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:: i'm so freaking tired ::

I need to go to bed. But I don't especially want to at the moment. Well, I guess the truth of it is that I feel I the need to update this sucker.

I finished reading Catch Me If You Can and moved on to The Catcher In The Rye. I've actually never read it, but I started it today and read the first 3 chapters. I like it, and I'm kinda surprised that I've never read this for school.

Jarrod and I went to see Jarhead on Friday, and I thought it was great. Sam Mendes, Jake Gyllenhall, Peter Sarsgaard and Jamie Foxx are all excellent (Sam's the director, in case you didn't know, and he also did American Beauty). It easily made my top 25. So did The Weatherman, which we saw last week.

I picked up the new The Juliana Theory and Project 86 albums this week. They're both amazing. I can't believe I didn't buy the P86 one the week it came out, or that the TJT album took so long for me to decide to listen to. I also picked up the Happy Christmas Volume 4 album... good stuff.

I spent a large part of today watching rugby matches out on the pitch. Man was that fun. I took a bunch of pictures, hopefully I've got one that'll make it into Monday's Battalion.

Thursday we saw the Spazmatics again. Ben Idom cracks me up. That boy is fun to hang out with. Oh, and I finally went to Pei Wei, and I'm so glad it's finally here.

I bought a pair of those Chinese balls that you spin in your hand when I went to see Sallie at Earthbound. Fun store. I'm getting pretty good with them. Haha, I'm a dork.
  • Current Music
    Rilo Kiley
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:: make a wish for the best, of all the little things that i miss ::

Sometimes I read my friend's blogs and they amaze me. A certain few friends, usually. This time it was Steve. Here's some of his post, edited for brevity's sake,of course - I wouldn't rip anything out of its original context.

I want to talk about fairy tales. ... I'm not going to say that I'm opposed to fairy tales, but I do have some beef with them. ... because they create this "happy ending" idea that one day you will have no problems. It's the same reason I hate chick flicks which are kind of like the teenage girl version of fairy tales.
...
Life isn't about finding the problem free happy ending, it's about making the most of it all even in the face of conflict and problems. I want to write a fairy tale someday about the unluckiest man in the world. Nothing good happens to him. He is a miserable little scum. Then one day he realizes, "You know what, it doesn't seem that life is going to ever throw me a bone, so I might as well learn to find happiness without having it fed to me by circumstance."
...
This is what happens to people who wait for happy endings. They eventually get old, look back on their life and realize, "Crap, I've wasted my whole life waiting for something better than this."


Sometime's my friends post better explanations of my life than I can. I wonder how that works. I think it's the grace of God, shining through and saying "Hey Marc, you're not alone in the world, so get off your little overly emotional buttocks and do something with your life. I'll take care of the womenfolk/school/insert melodrama here."

In other news, my iPod crashed my computer today. Which means I probably need to upgrade the firmware. And, I found out I'm finally getting a grade for my study abroad work. I'd better have a friggin A in 311. Oh, and I actually managed to go out and listen to Tom Short without a heated debate. I should've reminded him that he said I was going to hell last year.

I've heard this one before, about the princess and the pauper.
I know just how it ends now, it doesn't end well, it just ends.
Some things you learn from hurting yourself,
Some things you learn from hurting someone else.
  • Current Music
    Brandtson - Grace Thinks I'm a Failure
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:: stuff... it's brilliant ::

10 random things of today:
1. Walked around campus with Thomas and our cameras
2. Took a picture of Reveille dressed up for Halloween
3. Revised and typed my poem for class
4. Turned my medical excuse in to my tennis teacher
5. Walked through the first real rainstorm in College Station this semester
6. Went to Best Buy and bought NOTHING
7. Figured out how awesome Anadivine and Coheed are for broken hearts
8. Fishtailed on wet asphalt
9. Made a Burger King costume and wore it to Java Wesley
10. Got smacked on the ass by Lindsay.

I love, I hate, I miss.....stolen from CallanCollapse )

Java Wesley was fun. Today was mediocre. Tomorrow doesn't look too much better at the moment. I've got a bunch of ideas for poems that I haven't had time to sit down and write. I started a long poem today, a very fun concept that I haven't really tried in a while. The other day I wrote a little acoustic thing on my guitar, no words, but I enjoy it. I think I may try to record some of my stuff that I haven't been able to put words to and just play them until I figure out what might go in the blanks. Or just have the music w/ no words. Ah well.

Here's hoping that someday I can get some time to do some stuff that I'd like to, as opposed to always doing crap that I've got to get done for school and work. If I could have just a little time to do my own stuff, I think it might be very therapeutic. Someday...
  • Current Music
    Coheed and Cambria - Welcome Home
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:: mixed blessings ::

This week has been full of mediocre ups and downs. It's like that little kiddie roller coaster you used to ride at the fair when you were small. The one where you sat in a dragon and all it did was go around a circle and go up and down, in mildly aggressive motions. That's still the only roller coaster I've ever ridden.

Basically I'm ok... But then again, the emo-kid side of me wants to go wallow in a corner with his buddies self-pity and social isolationism. My Astros lost, I've had a lot of schoolwork. The Aggies got creamed by Iowa State today. My romantic life isn't exactly in full swing.

But there's lots of small things that have been good. I managed to get my paper done without dying. Aggie Soccer is awesome, we beat Baylor 4-0, Big 12 Champs! I got to see Nancy and Thomas today, and both of them are going to be at Java Wesley. Jarrod, Elizabeth and I saw Saw II and The Weatherman the last two nights. Both were good, but The Weatherman was better (and is highly recommended on Marc's top movie list). rearranged my room this evening. I got to talk to Alicia for the first time in forever. I have a pimp new suit, and I got a haircut.

But all at the same time, I feel highly unfulfilled. I think I'm going to try and pursue some more items of self-satisfaction, and this may mean that I have to take time out of what I don't have to take time out of, in order to do the things I'd like to do. Wow, I think that was one of the most confusing sentences I've ever written. Basically, some things that I don't really want to set aside are going to have to be put on hold at certain times if I'm going to be spiritually and emotionally satisfied.

I need some more God in my life. This is a hard thing to accomplish sometimes. I feel like I'm at the end of everything, as always. But life will work out, it always does. God is faithful, He always IS. And I think that is one of the most powerful and comforting thoughts my brain can attempt to wrap around.
  • Current Music
    Dashboard Confessional - Again I Go Unnoticed